There has been quite a lot of e-ink spilled on this little blog project about the greatness of classic dark rides, and here we have probably the absolute king of the genre.
The best way I can describe Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is absolutely unhinged. It made no sense whatsoever, went in maddening directions, and also made its finale by killing you, the rider. It was bonkers. And because of that, it was amazing.
I'm going to cite FoxxFur again, because, as usual, she is on point:
Dark Rides have been popular for well over 100 years now, and possibly because they, moreso than the roller coaster or omnimover or anything else, most recall the dream state and the irrationality of our own collective unconscious. Great dark rides feel like the whole thing is totally out of control.
In that same article, she says it was, "the nearest to a totally irrational nightmare most young children got to experience in waking life," which I also think is perfectly accurate: a bizarre nightmare of events that shouldn't happen, and were at once both comical and terrifying. That's kind of like Alien Encounter now that I think about it, but with more peppy whistling.
The first few show scenes featured your car wildly driving around the inside of a mansion, something we know to be taboo and dangerous, and here it managed to be surreal, amusing, and terrifying at once. Those early scenes of the house, with its detailed backgrounds, items falling around, and -- on one side -- driving into the fireplace(?!) are seared in my brain as some of the most haunting stuff I have ever experienced on a Disney attraction. You're doing something familiar -- driving -- but doing it horribly in a place you know you're not supposed to be.
That's pretty fun, to be honest.
The ride continued on like that through a variety of colorful, hilarious show scenes, repeatedly crashing through elements that don't seem like they're supposed to be doors, with stuff flying out of the way at just the right second. Mid-ride, a you drove through a pleasant courtyard -- seeing another ride vehicle, more on that later -- before the twisted finale.
It's become extremely common to use jump scares with sound and bright light in dark rides; the truck in Test Track, the tractor in Radiator Springs Racers, Stan Lee in The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man. The grandaddy of that trope came from the climax of Mr. Toad, where you turned (why?!) down the train tracks, only to be greeted by a bright spotlight and loud sounds simulating a train colliding with your car. Only, unlike most versions of this gag, instead of safely veering out of the way, you ACTUALLY DIED. The last show scene is the most iconic moment of all in Mr. Toad, as you spend your final moments on the ride veering through a cartoonish version of Hell, tormented by tiny imps and a giant devil, as they still whistled happily along with the ride's signature melody.
That description doesn't truly capture what made Mr. Toad incredible, though. It had all the right elements -- color, surprises, sight gags, black light effects -- for a good dark ride, but it was the use of the classic bus-guided ride system itself that made Mr. Toad a hilarious thrill. Instead of just trucking along down a logical path that followed along the shape of the show scenes, as you would expect, your car constantly veered left and right, taking turns as tight as could be possibly manufactured in the system, making multiple paths through a specific room, and constantly leaving you on edge as you got thrown back and forth. Twists and elements around the track made it feel like you were actually speeding along in an incredibly unsafe manner, as Mr. Toad was actually exhilarating.
As FoxxFur points out, you are even given a steering wheel to pretend you have some control, as this car constantly just does the most insane thing, completely contrary to what you would ever tell it to do if your steering wheel functioned. Lots of dark rides are pretty, or have a great sense of nostalgia, or do creative things with their sounds and visuals, but the way Mr. Toad used movement made it genuinely border on thrill ride.
While you can still experience the attraction at Disneyland -- and recent experiences on that version are fueling some of this post -- the Magic Kingdom version had a couple elements that you won't see in California. To begin with, the larger cars held twice as many guests, but also, there were twice as many load stations on top of that. Two vehicles loaded simultaneously and dispatched together -- something you can still do in Rollercoaster Tycoon -- and that not just added to capacity (which matters) but added just a little bit more to the thrill of movement, as at various points the vehicles would drive right up to one another, then veer off on their own separate paths. This ballet has been seen in other dark rides since, like Springs and Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance, but because of how Mr. Toad used momentum, it added something different here. There was also just a little bit of mystery as to whether or not you'd ever see that other vehicle again.
On top of that, the two track system made for re-rideability, because Mr. Toad was essentially two different rides in one building. On one track, you'd go spinning through terrific gags around the village, driving idiotically through taverns and carnivals. On the other, you would go careening through a barn in the country side before being sentenced to prison, where you were allowed to take your car before breaking out with a bunch of weasels. The fact that you could get a different ride -- both of the same level of absurdity -- depending on which way you went was pretty neat.
It is easy to wonder how much of Mr. Toad's popularity is nostalgia, given none of us have been able to visit it for more than two decades, but I am absolutely confident in those thrills it gave me growing up, and in how visceral it's tight turns and the constant threat of collision would hold up today. Regardless, it earns a place because of how fondly remembered it is, for it's gorgeous scenery, and for having the guts to actually send you to Hell.
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