The top four were extremely hard to organize, so you could consider this a tie for the first spot if you like. That should calm you down if you're angry about Sounds Dangerous! being too low; just think of this as the top!
It is really hard to put into words what made Sounds Dangerous! starring Drew Carey such a legendary attraction, but I'm going to try. I think it comes down to three key elements.
The first element was sitting in the total dark. Yes, there were some brief video elements, but for the most part this attraction took place with no distracting special effects other than sounds. You just got to sit there, rest your eyes, and enjoy the air conditioning. It's really pretty exciting that the Sounds Dangerous! starring Drew Carey theater had a an entire screen even though it served almost no purpose whatsoever!
The second element relates to that singular special effect: actual headphones! These weren't just any headphones, though, they were easily the quality of what came packaged with a Sony Walkman, absolutely plussing the entire experience. It was a neat touch, and there was such a great communal experience with knowing many others had shared those headphones before you.
As though that's not enough, the post show to Sounds Dangerous! starring Drew Carey just had exactly more of the same, as you got to sit in more darkness with more headphones and listen to more sounds. It may seem like the attraction wasn't doing much if a simple post show replicated the same thing, but I would argue the other way around: a post show on the caliber of the third -- and arguable first -- greatest attraction of all time is a very big deal.
Most importantly, though, was the sheer star power. When you go to a theme park, you don't expect to see a celebrity as big as Drew Carey hosting an attraction. Essentially America's true sweetheart, Carey gave Sounds Dangers! starring Drew Carey a level of gravitas that no one else could have bestowed upon it. Seeing his giant head as you walked by the marquee was honestly jaw dropping: "they got him?!" It really is pretty amazing. The feature even pulled an interesting trick where it pretended to be a reality show starring someone named Charlie Foster, but we knew the whole time it was actually Drew Carrey; partly because of his fame, and partly because his name was in the attraction title!
Those three elements all came together to make this maybe the greatest attraction to ever exist. Where else could you simulate the auditory experience of a haircut? Twice!
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