Seven years into its existence, EPCOT Center's Futureworld opened its second new pavilion since opening, this time celebrating the human body in Wonders of Life.
The pavilion was a little bit different from most of the others, as, rather than mostly being made up of one large attraction, it was a collection of several smaller attractions and exhibits. The floor of the pavilion was littered things you could touch to mess with your senses, exercise bikes that could take you through Disneyland, a show floor for mousercise, and all sorts of fun ways to learn about how the body works.
Around the edges, then, it had three of what I consider fully qualifying attractions. One, Body Wars, was a Star Tours-style simulator ride through the human body, and just missed this list. Another -- and this is not a joke -- was a sex ed cartoon narrated by Martin Short.
The crown jewel, though, and the best part of the entire pavilion, was a theater show that was basically a Saturday Night Live sketch.
Cranium Command operated under the concept that all humans are piloted by tiny people. Tiny comedians operate the organs, and a captain leads them from inside the brain. You, dear guest, were brought into this brain -- assumedly by the even tinier comedians in your own brain -- to see how it all works.
Not just any brain, though, because this was the brain of a teenage boy on his first day of school; the most difficult job of all. For your pilot, Buzzy, this was his very first mission.
The theater was a clever representation of the inside of the teen's skull, with two screens showing you what is on the other side of his eyes, and different windows displaying the vital organs as they checked in. Buzzy himself was a rather impressive, cartoony animatronic in the center, moving around on a tall chair crane. Lights and steam effects peppered the show for a little bit of extra visual stimulation, and an animatronic hypothalamus did an adorable Eeyore impression.
Your adventure took place at a typical school day, as your host -- Bobby -- struggled with chemistry, bullies, and having a crush on the new girl. The left brain, played by Charles Grodin, insisted on logical solutions, while the right brain, Jon Lovitz, inspired more emotional responses. Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon as Hans and Franz as the left and right ventricles pumped up the heart any time new girl Annie showed up. George Wendt the stomach depressingly begged for food through the show, and -- most hilariously of all -- Bobcat Goldthwait in the adrenal glands lost control at every single stressor, represented by sparks flying in a tangle of electrical cords.
Buzzy eventually lost control of his team, but through persuasion got them to work together, right the ship, and finish a successful day of school. It was simple, but charming, funny, and a clever use of theater space to both convey a whimsical concept and also educate about the human body.
The amusing use of celebrity cameos as functions of the body was a huge part of what made the show so fun, though I fully admit it probably wouldn't work as well today. Still, it would be interesting to see a modern Cranium Command with a new cast, like Key and Peele as the brain, or Jason Mantzoukas in the adrenal glands.
On a personal note, I managed to see Cranium Command the final night it was open, having absolutely no knowledge I'd be doing it for the last time. I'm happy to have seen it off, even if it wasn't intentionally, and it -- as well as the rest of Wonders of Life -- is actually the only attraction I've ever done the whole Closing Night thing on.
At that point, it had been nearly a decade since the last time I'd gotten to do it, and while a little bit of it felt dated, the core concept and the humor still shined through. It remained charming and clever, and I'm endlessly grateful I made the casual decision to stop by and see it one more time.
Oh, also, I find it hilarious this kid's mom makes him this wildly elaborate breakfast he won't have time to eat because of the bus schedule.
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