Some personal history:
I grew up terrified of any rides that represented any "danger" at all. I could not convince myself the railroad of Thunder Mountain wouldn't actually go off the rails, or that the ghosts of Haunted Mansion weren't real. I'm dating myself some, but I have vivid memories of walking past Splash Mountain under construction, looking at where the briar patch would go, and the coming drop, and thinking: "absolutely not."
The ride opened between visits, and when we went back for the first time in years, I made the commitment that this time, I would brave something scary, and that something would be the still-recent Splash. In fact, we made it the very first ride we did that trip, waking straight back. That's where I saw the first of Splash's neat tricks.
The entire point of the original Splash in Disneyland was to be a weenie to draw people back into Critter Country, so Tony Baxter went with a log flume whose ultimate drop was seen from all the way in Frontierland. The logs plummeting into a thicket of thorns and vines, riders screaming the whole way, their final fate unseen at a splash of water towered overhead was the perfect way to draw attention.
It worked in the Magic Kingdom, too. From the moment we took a left in Liberty Square, the iconic drop, the titular splash, and the unforgettable screams were immediately front and center of my attention, just like they're supposed to be. In Magic Kingdom, the logs end up flowing along the Rivers of America and under the footsteps of guests, becoming a perfect example of a ride mingling with its surroundings and adding energy to the park. For me, it simultaneously excited and terrified me. There was no way of ignoring this beast, even if it wasn't my intention; my proving ground of choice.
The whole wait in the line was anxious anticipation, somehow doubting that I'd actually be able to survive a theme park ride, but convincing myself I was finally ready to try. Once we were in our log, the slow, terrifying lift began, and I steeled myself for the moment of truth.
. . . only to be trolled by Splash's second -- and I arguably extremely underrated -- second trick. If you're familiar with the mountain, you probably never notice this, but ride with someone who has no clue about the layout of the ride, or watch people as they crest that first lift, and you'll realize it is an absolutely hilarious piece of messing with expectations. If you don't know what Splash Mountain is, there is no reason not to think that first lift hill isn't just going to drop you down that iconic 52 foot drop. Watch the faces of first time riders as they anticipate the coming plunge, only to turn to nervous laughter as they wonder why they only dropped a few inches, then their jaws drop as they get a perfectly up-close view of what the big drop really looks like as they slowly wrap around it.
It's an absolutely legendary moment of subverting expectations, while also building excitement as you get plenty of time to watch people rush past you screaming, while you just float along peacefully, the ride having not even really begun. It seems to be a bit overlooked at this point, but it really is genius.
As a kid, this moment turned in to my utter confusion as to what was coming next. Like so many good thrill rides we've talked about here, Splash takes you on a leisurely trip before it starts its thrills, with some pleasant outdoor dioramas and some peppy music, but not much in the way of action. Contrary to what you expect from most thrill rides -- and absolutely contrary to what I expected as young boy -- Splash is going to treat you to a long, memorable show whose happiness and playfulness is completely contrary to the big moments it has in store.
After its first real drop -- not even a big one -- you enter what is essentially one of the best dark rides on property. A lot of the attractions on this list get here by being a massive collection of several different ideas in one massive whole. Pirates of the Caribbean putting dark ride atmosphere and Carousel of Progress Audio Animatronics around an "it's a small world" flume -- and adding a drop for good measure -- is a good example, and there's another perfect one coming. Splash is exactly in that wheelhouse. It has huge, elaborate, colorful show scenes absolutely full of animatronics, but instead of a car on a bus bar, you float by in a log. And occasionally fall down a giant hill.
Those show scenes really are a great attraction all on their own. The level of detail, and the pure joy and vibrancy that comes from them as you wind around would probably be the top of the style on the list if it just had the Mr. Toad ride system, it just happens to do so much more. It's an absolutely massive idea when you think about it, there is just so much detail and so much length to this experience, and the elements that feel like they belong in Fantasyland just perfectly juxtapose against the drops.
For kid me, it was almost disarming; almost. I knew that drop was coming, but I was enchanted by looking at singing animals, painted backgrounds, and amusing sight gags along the way. The moment I felt the most ready, though, was the drop into the laughing place. By this point, you've done two standard drops, then the ride throws you for a loop by plunging you in the dark on a drop with a hump at the bottom; one of the coolest moments anywhere on a Disney ride.
Of course, the reason Splash is in the top five on this list is because of how many things it does, and how big an experience it is, but the signature is obviously that drop. Just in case you have forgotten about it while moseying through the show, an absolutely enormous lift hill with scary music, thunder, and vultures reminds you of what you're about to face as you scale up to the climax.
I was clinging to my arm bar for dear life. As you reach the top, though, for one brief moment in time, it's beautiful. You get just enough seconds to look out at a perfectly framed Cinderella Castle, before that iconic "crack" sound of the log engaging with the track snaps you back to reality. "Oh no" is all I could think as my childhood test of strength was coming due.
The next words you hear me say on my father's old VHS tape, as we rounded the ibis-covered island in the middle of Frontierland were: "That was great! Can we do it again?!"
For me, that was the beginning. That trip, I conquered Thunder Mountain, Tower of Terror, and Haunted Mansion -- as well as Splash Mountain several more times -- and never looked back. I had crossed the proverbial bridge into being ready to be scared for my life.
Meanwhile, Splash ends with a perfectly charming set of show scenes to wrap everything up, a huge finale with a steamboat, the train possibly passing overhead, and music that absolutely sticks in your brain. It is a massive experience full at once of some of the biggest thrills Disney has, coupled with positively peaceful dark ride charms. It is a singular experience that few attractions on the entire planet can compete with.
And for me, it was a seminal moment in my life as a young theme park fan. Every trip from then on included repeated rides of Splash Mountain. The first day in the parks on my Walt Disney World College Program included repeated rides of Splash Mountain, by the end of that Program I had been on it dozens of times, and it has remained for me -- just like for many others -- an absolute requirement on a day in the Magic Kingdom.
While we're at it, nothing mentioned here is specific to any setting or movie. What makes Splash great -- its detailed show scenes, the perfect pace of its river, the energy it adds to the west side of the park, and its thrilling drops -- can work with any story, as long as the animatronics and spaces are done well. Its themes from a ride standpoint are universal, and if a show that makes fewer people unhappy can be wrapped around it, the more the merrier. The music is absolutely an integral part of the experience, but that can be true of any good music. Emphasis on the word "can" in this paragraph, but change is not necessarily bad.
Splash Mountain is a legend because of how much goes into it, and that will always be the case for as long as it deceives you with gorgeous physical spaces intertwined with heart-stopping falls.
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